I don't know if our "bought and sold legislature" actually consider a sunflower a crime in Kansas, where the Sunflower is the state flower. If a sunflower is a crime I am about to commit another environmental atrocity. I am going to plant sunflowers at my house. I can't stop myself!
It must be the Farey sequences in the seeds or something. Maybe the devil is making me do it. Perhaps I have become the host of an evil weed demon! I have to plant those sunflowers!
So if your kids are in the car or you have a weak stomach don't drive down my block later this Summer. You are likely to see red sunflowers and Mammoth sunflowers and oh, the horror of it all an old Bolshevik sunflower! As all good suburbanites know, you should never expose your children to anything but blue grass before they are 16!
If a kid grows a plant they might start having a real world relationship with living things and life and nature. How can we completely destroy nature and increase our profits and the profits of shareholders if people like nature? Keep them plant virgins and while the world will be laid waste, profits will soar. I know you are an optimist, not an evil skeptic so
steer your kids away from anything but blue grass. I have warned you!
It even gets worse. Birds and people may eat some of the Sunflower seeds! Sunflowers are dangerously nutritious so get your kids some junk food and boycott my block!
Remember, "Sunflowers Kill"! Sounds like a good slogan even if I don't know what they kill. Hunger maybe.
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