Saturday, May 23, 2009

ARE SUNFLOWERS PERENNIALS AS MR. KENNEDY OF THE VIDEO SUGGESTS?

    Mr. Tom Kennedy puts those sunflower heads in the ground and grinds them up a couple of times but apparently he doesn't grind enough to destroy the seeds.  He claims that this replenishes the sunflowers and that he is growing a number of different kinds of sunflowers and I believe him.  He obviously notes that he doesn't have to buy seed because some of it goes into the soil for the next season. 

    On the other hand, Mr. Kennedy is sure these sunflowers are perennials but they really are annuals.  That's why he has to plant seeds every year.  Of course, these plants pretty much reseed themselves with some help from Mr. Kennedy, the birds and cosmic rays.  I was interested to hear that so many finches like the sunflower seeds and blue jays and cardinals as well.  No wonder Tom looks so thin!


    Well, I like Mr. Kennedy and salute his work, but you have to admit that he may have become, well some sort of strange fellow because of the sunflowers.  I warned all of ya!  Now keep your kids away from sunflowers and anything that isn't highly processed pseudo foodstuffs!  Only bluegrass until sixteen.  Mark my words! 

    Perhaps we should rally at the local seed shops to demand that sunflowers be taken off the market!

    

CRIME WAVE TO HIT OVERLAND PARK KANSAS, SUNFLOWERS WILL FLOURISH!

I don't know if our "bought and sold legislature" actually consider a sunflower a crime in Kansas, where the Sunflower is the state flower. If a sunflower is a crime I am about to commit another environmental atrocity. I am going to plant sunflowers at my house. I can't stop myself!

It must be the Farey sequences in the seeds or something. Maybe the devil is making me do it. Perhaps I have become the host of an evil weed demon! I have to plant those sunflowers!

So if your kids are in the car or you have a weak stomach don't drive down my block later this Summer. You are likely to see red sunflowers and Mammoth sunflowers and oh, the horror of it all an old Bolshevik sunflower!
As all good suburbanites know, you should never expose your children to anything but blue grass before they are 16!

If a kid grows a plant they might start having a real world relationship with living things and life and nature. How can we completely destroy nature and increase our profits and the profits of shareholders if people like nature? Keep them plant virgins and while the world will be laid waste, profits will soar. I know you are an optimist, not an evil skeptic so
steer your kids away from anything but blue grass. I have warned you!

It even gets worse. Birds and people may eat some of the Sunflower seeds! Sunflowers are dangerously nutritious so get your kids some junk food and boycott my block!

Remember, "Sunflowers Kill"! Sounds like a good slogan even if I don't know what they kill. Hunger maybe.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

THE STATE FLOWER IS A NOXIOUS WEED, SO SAYS OVERLAND PARK, KANSAS

If you are skeptical about the idea that a city would declare sunflower a weed and a noxious weed at that then please consult the Overland Park Municipal Code 7.20.120I:

"Weeds" shall mean to include, but not be limited to, barnyard grass (echinochloa
crusgalli); beggar tick, hemp (cannabis sativa); milkweed (asclepias syriacs); ... ragweed,
sunflower, common (helianthus annuus); swamp smartweed, tanweed, devil's shoestring (polygonum coccineum); tall
thistle (cirsium altissimum); ...
(History: Ord. NU-1376 '1, 86)

I couldn't make this up.